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Almost Famous

DOCUMENTARY
Ocotmom Plans Documentary on Her Children’s Lives

Nadya Suleman’s first mistake was deciding to have six kids with no job, no home and no husband. Her second mistake was to willingly have eight more in the same situation. Some people’s heads are hard as bedrock, and Nadya is the spokesperson for all of them.

Now, she wants to make a show about them. She agreed to have film crews take footage of her gigantic single parent oasis six times a year until they’re 18! How selfish could you be? I wonder how much of an attention whore you have to be to subject your kids to that.

“It’s official. I’m going to be doing a show, but it’s not a reality show,” Suleman said to Life & Style Magazine. She said it would be produced by the British arm of an independent production company called Eyeworks. According to our leading lady, the show would be aired in Britain for now and maybe the U.S. in the future.

MICHAEL VICK
Vick Seeks Reality Series Deal After Release

Former Atlanta Falcons’ quarterback Michael Vick will be released from prison on July 20th after serving his 23-month sentence for dog-fighting. With an indefinite NFL suspension looming over his head and mounting debt problems, the pit-bull bully is looking to ink a deal for a reality show.

The reality show will be based on his prison after-life and him trying to make amends with society. Vick has already talked to producers about a proposed documentary series that would follow him around. A few parties claim to have obtained rights to a Vick project. His attorneys told a judge at his bankruptcy hearing that Vick agreed to a TV deal that will pay him $600,000.

BRITNEY SPEARS
WARNING! Britney Spears May be Getting Married Again

I love when rich, affluent dudes set new trends. Now I know that I don’t have to fly my girl to Paris for some corny, romantic proposal. Just like my dude, John Sundahl, I’ll pop the question in a sandwich shop.

The National Enquirer reported that 40-year-old real estate developer John Sundahl proposed to Britney Spears in a Subway store in Santa Monica. The Spears’ camp is denying the rumor, but the multi-million dollar developer’s pilot says it’s true. He said they met in 2007 when our girl was in rehab.

He claims Sundahl put a $4.5 million marquise-cut diamond on the popstars’ finger and it was a wrap from there. Who could say no to that? He probably bought her foot-long to butter her up first, then pulled out the major bling to settle the deal. According to the pilot, they plan on getting married in Germany in six weeks. It was supposed to be on the hush-hush; the wedding is reportedly going to be on Sundahl’s aunt’s farm with a $350,000 fence enclosing it.

CASSIE
Cassie Shocks those Who Care

Some people are dying for attention - some might even shave the right side of their head just to get a photograph circulated in gossip world. Now I know you’re wondering who in the world would do such a thing; model turned singer and alleged girlfriend of Diddy shocked those who care when she cut her luscious locks. Cassie stated on her twitter page:

“Sometimes in life, you need a change. Something deeper than what you thought you were capable of. Something that displays the “I don’t give a fuck” attitude that was always present, but never showcased. Something that makes you look at this whole wide world a little differently… & something that will shock your mother, but make her call you a ROCK STAR…”

CHRIS BROWN
Abuser of Love

No, this is not the name of a new reality show starring Chris Brown; however the 19 year old singer/celebrity extra has been spotted juggling two different girls. This wouldn’t be a problem if he were not facing charges stemming from an alleged violent outburst involving ex-love, Rihanna. Erica Jackson, a student at Mary Washington University in Virginia and Natalie Mejia from the fake pop group Girlicious are the two clueless girls seen with Brown. Now these girls either have no clue what Brown has done or they just don’t care, whichever way - they do not know what they’re getting themselves into.

BOND GIRL
Kim Kardashian Dreams Big

Never afraid to self-promote, Kim Kardashian has expressed interest in a few “acting” gigs. After making her big screen debut in last summer’s Disaster Movie, the curvy reality star says she’d love to be the next Bond girl—if Twilight doesn’t call first.

“I would like die to be in Twilight. Being around all those hot guys. I want to be a vampire,” she told PopEater.

The only thing she’d like more is to share the screen with Daniel Craig. “I would love to be a Bond girl—that would be my dream [in] life,” said Kardashian.

Hey, if Denise Richards can score that role, why can’t Kim?

GOD
Boyfriend shows Miley the Holy Light

Miley Cyrus may be barely 16 years old and dating a 20-year old underwear model, but she swears their relationship is nothing but innocent. In fact, she credits the relationship with strengthening her relationship with God!

“I’ve never been closer to the Lord since I met him,” said Miley of Justin Gaston. “He really made me read my Bible. He’s made me actually read the stories in the Bible—not the quick little verses—that not only help me, but show you how to help other people.” Saint Justin "is like, the coolest guy," she ads.

This is not the first devout Christian Miley has dated—her last boyfriend was purity-ring-wearing Nick Jonas of the Jonas Brothers.

Of course, Disney loves this image, wanting its star to be a positive tween role model. However, after facing much recent controversy, I don’t think anyone would be surprised to see an upcoming breakaway from the Church.

BRITNEY SPEARS
Spears Walks off Stage at Smokey Circus

Britney walked off the stage after performing just three songs at a Vancouver concert last night. Why? Supposedly it was too smokey in the arena for the singer—who smokes herself, and doesn’t sing live.

All the lights were turned off for over 20 minutes and an announcement was made that the show would not go on until fans stopped smoking marijuana and cigarettes in the smoke-free arena, because it was unsafe for Britney and crew. Britney, no stranger to drugs, didn’t come back on until nearly 40 minutes later!

Before running off the stage for a final time, Britney yelled, "Thanks Vancouver. You were wonderful. Drive safe. Don't smoke weed!"

Britney’s camp has released a statement about the incident, which either gives it a little merit, or simply saves her ass: "We were concerned for the lighting guys and everyone else working on the show."

DRUG BUST
Actor from Harry Potter Involved in Drug Bust

It looks like the objects students were practicing their levitation spells on weren’t the only things getting high at Hogwarts last semester. TMZ is reporting that “Jamie Waylett, the guy who played Vincent Crabbe in all five Potter flicks, was arrested in London on Thursday after cops say they found eight bags of weed in a car that Jamie and another man were in.”

And the reefer madness didn’t stop there. Apparently, when the police raided the young actor’s home later in the day, they found that “the 19-year old was keeping a weed garden in his home,” which consisted of multiple plants and “equipment for the cultivation of cannabis.” According to Perez Hilton, there were eight bags of marijuana in Waylett’s car, and about $3,000 worth of plants growing in his home.

JOHNNY DEPP
Stars coming to SpongeBob

I never would have guessed that celebrity fashionista Victoria Beckham would be starred in a TV show alongside SpongeBob Square Pants. That’s the case in an upcoming episode called “Neptune’s Party, scheduled to air in the summer of 2010.

The former Spice Girl, 34, will be the voice of Queen Amphitrite, goddess of the sea, on Nickelodeon’s hit cartoon.

Posh isn’t the only star to appear in an upcoming episode. SpongeBob is currently celebrating its 10th anniversary with a special episode starring Johnny Depp as surfer Jack Kahuna Luguna. SpongeBob vs. the Big One will air on April 17 (8PM ET) on Nickelodeon.