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Hide Yo' Kids, Hide Yo' Wife: The Return of the Montauk Monster
Creepy creature washes ashore near the FDR and it's most definitely NOT a pig.

 

Anyone with basic common sense knows that pigs have hooved feet. A creepy non-hooved creature resembling a giant rat/pig dubbed the "East River Monster" was discovered beneath the FDR in Manhattan over the weekend. Photographer Denise Ginley was walking along Manhattan's totally non-toxic, sanitary East River when she came across a bloated mystery carcass. She returned with her camera and snapped several high quality shots that easily dispel the NYC Park Department's statement that "it was a pig left over from a cook out."

Right.

Because pigs with five digits and opposable thumbs exist. And also people love to roast pigs and leave them under the FDR to rot in the sun instead of eating them.

The creature resembles "The Montauk Monster" which washed ashore in Montauk in July 2008. The body of that 'monster' was never recovered or examined, but according to experts who "studied the photograph" the carcass was that of a "badly decomposed raccoon."

We're not buying either of these explanations. And neither is NY Mag. Are these creatures the result of some weird scientific experiment or just the by-product of what happens when you have a steady diet of the East River's old-shoe + tire-infused water?