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STRANGER THAN FICTION
Stealth McDonald's Burglar Steals Armful of Yogurt Parfaits

In a Mission Impossible-style heist, an Indiana burglar was caught on camera as he attempted to rob a McDonald's. Unfortunately, his grand scheme took a wrong turn when he was unable to steal the cash register. The culprit immediately adverted to Plan B, as sketched out in his handwritten book, "Best Robbery Ideas of All Time Ever Created, Ever" as he hit up the fridge and stole at least several sub-par snack size yogurt parfaits before making a break for it. (Personally we would've gone for the frozen meat patties --more street value.)

His well-thought-out mission seemed successful as he coolly strolled by police officers with an armful of parfaits, covered in glass. It didn't take long for authorities to identify him as James Bond, "Double Oh Seven." Actually officers identified him as Christopher McGlaufin, "Worst Burglar Ever."

PEANUT GALLERY
Why Couples (Especially Celebs) Need To Keep Their Relationships Off Twitter

Oh Twitter, what would we all do without it? The micro-blogging site has become the go-to platform for connecting people all over the world, including plenty of celebrities. In fact, Twitter has so much clout, celebs and notables are often judged by how many "followers" they have.

Modern technology connecting people is a great thing --or is it? What happens when users reveal a little too much? It seems we've hit the peak of overshare overload. Celebs like Demi Moore, Chris Brown, Rihanna and countless others have taken to Twitter to "air dirty laundry" about their personal lives and relationships, sometimes with dire results.

DO-GOODERS
[VIDEO] Watch 3 Adorable Baby Bears Rescued From Dumpster

In today's squee-worthy news, a New Mexico couple had to come to the rescue of three black bear cubs when their dumpster diving mama got them in a bit of a jam. The couple, Tom and Shirley Schenk, heard baby bear cries (aw!) throughout the night and subsequently discovered the trapped cubs. However, the couple are no strangers to such events --they had previously performed an identical rescue.

Shirley told ABC news, "They know how to open the latch to the dumpster. The mother is notorious in the neighborhood." She added, "I was not scared. I had my husband driving and I knew we'd drop it and go. I would have never done that on foot." According to the couple the bears frequent the neighborhood and are "rarely aggressive."

STRANGER THAN FICTION
Hide Yo' Kids, Hide Yo' Wife: The Return of the Montauk Monster

Anyone with basic common sense knows that pigs have hooved feet. A creepy non-hooved creature resembling a giant rat/pig dubbed the "East River Monster" was discovered beneath the FDR in Manhattan over the weekend. Photographer Denise Ginley was walking along Manhattan's totally non-toxic, sanitary East River when she came across a bloated mystery carcass. She returned with her camera and snapped several high quality shots that easily dispel the NYC Park Department's statement that "it was a pig left over from a cook out."

Right.

CULTURE CLUB
Yo-Yo Ma! Jerry Seinfeld to Return to Standup Stage in NYC

ZOMG. Catch your breath, everyone. This is possibly the best morning news we've received in...well, ever! The legendary Jerry Seinfeld, who has not set foot on a standup stage in NYC since 1998 (and subsequently broke our hearts by ending Seinfeld the same year) will be performing a series of shows throughout NYC's five boroughs starting October 4th. (!!!!)

We can't wait to see what he's got up his sleeve this time around. Tickets start around $75 and up and go on sale July 30th at 10am ET. Check out the schedule below:

From Crackle: Larry Eats A Pancake
STRANGER THAN FICTION
Shopaholic Bear Can't Get Enough of Sears Appliances

We all know bears love refrigerators (ya know, for the food) so it shouldn't have been much of a surprise when a 1-year-old 125-pound female black bear showed up at a Sears in Pittsburgh to do a little shopping. According to the Tribune Review, patrons spotted the bear in the parking lot around 8:30pm and started chasing it around with their cars said witness, Mark Marcinik, who was outside at the time.

(Come on people, how would you like to be chased around on your way to the mall?)

LIFESTYLE
Screw 'Rich Kids of Instagram,' Here's Poor People & Ramen

We're sure many of you have seen the much criticized, most recent Tumblr blog to go viral, "Rich Kids of Instagram," which chronicles the young, privileged, and wealthy as they flaunt their lifestyles of jetsetting from St. Tropez to the Hamptons, sipping on Dom P with their Whoppers, and gyrating in front of McMansions --primarily on Daddy's dime. Look, everyone wants to do what they're doing, so there's no reason to get jealy about it. Don't hate, appreciate. Go out and get yours, ya see?

STRANGER THAN FICTION
Happy Friday: It's Totally Creepy and It's Our Favorite Video This Week

We're pretty sure this creature has OCD.

[via]

V.I.P: VERY IMPORTANT PARTY
SPIN Magazine & 1800 Tequila Team Up for Essential Artists Party

Keeping up with the endless array of events and parties in NYC can be daunting. But one thing that will certainly draw a crowd (and personally light a fire to our asses) is art and tequila. So when we heard SPIN was hosting its exclusive Essential Artists party with 1800 Tequila, our RSVP's were in faster than an office clearing on Summer Friday.

Hosted at the very lofty Nejla in Soho, guests were welcomed with trays full of 1800 Tequila concoctions including margaritas, mojitos, and "Refrescas." Music of the evening included a special performance by SPIN’s July/August cover artist Wavves, with sets by Nick Catchdubs and J2K of Flosstradamus. Press also got a special sneak preview of the artwork before the crowds arrived.