Not since Tucker Max brought forth his stories of debauchery, assholish behavior and general malaise as a human being has something interested me as quickly as champagne Tuesdays. I don’t know where to begin. My initial reaction to the name was ‘don't give a shit, I don’t want to spend my evening around people buying bottles of champagne and acting pretentious.’ Then they added the word 'limitless,' and I started to listen. Then they told me it was at Superdive, a massively low-key, yet incredibly cool Lower East Side bar known for its ‘keg service,’ and I started to lean in. Then two things happened at once. As they (and they seem to talk a lot, don’t they?) mentioned that not only was this champagne limitless (for $20), but it was to be sabred at your table, and served by a ‘small-person’ named Nicholas, dressed in a pirates outfit who wheels said champagne about in a big bathtub; my brain melted, and I defecated myself. Awkward in an office full of people, but I think Tucker Max would understand.

So, let’s recap. We have unlimited champagne for $20, served by a knife wielding miniaturized Jack Sparrow. And I thought that having a keg-service was as cool as Superdive could get. No more living for the weekend, I’ll be taking Wednesdays off…. Forever….